What's brown and sticky? Mud! But if mud is too wet for you, try some dirt!
Why is dirt so expensive? Because of capitalist pig-worms!
I just got some new dirt. This calls for a soil-ebration!
I can't understand why no one can afford farmland. It's dirt cheap!
Fertilizer? I hardly know her!
Soil stocks have just plummeted to rock bottom!
Why do worms wiggle around so much? Are they stupid?
Man, fertilizer is the shit.
Why shouldn't you eat fertilizer? Cuz it's not food.
Why should you eat grass? Cuz it's a gateway drug to trees!